dawn breaks

lights, lights, lights
color, noise, people
runny smoke & carnival music

people, children, sad stories
a grandfather, drunken teenagers
tired mothers, tired children

beneath it, underneath it all
there is a love story.

it's his 6th birthday and he sees a little girl across the way,
through the throngs of smoking twenty-somethings and used car salesmen she sees him too.
she has curly hair and he likes it, he takes a few steps into the stream of dirty people.
but he is four feet tall and lost, soon he can't see her anymore.

he turns around and he is lost.
the rest of his life, he will stay lost.

light, light, light
dawn breaks.

the little girl waves goodbye, but he doesn't see.

Blood Red Roses,

Moonshine valentine.

I'm sitting in the back of a movie theater watching everyone fall in love,
The people in the seats in front of me, i mean,
And oh, it's such good acting.

I mean, I cry too

Even when the salt dries tight on my skin,
and i haven't slept in almost three days,
and gravity is suddenly worse than the weight of the world.

I only have four sleeping pills left.
Lay down with me.

You're a magician, and i can see the stars.
It's dark but the blue light of the sky is making your eyes shine,
my face shine.
It's cold but it's pretty when i can see my breath, i think.

I mean, that's how i'd like it to be,
but i'm just on my bedroom floor with a headache,
and you're at work where i can't talk to you.
I guess i'll just take off my jacket and drag myself to bed,
and i'll lay in a haze until my phone rings at 2:12 in the morning, and you,
you'll sing me to sleep.

12:29

i'm sitting in the corner of my bedroom underneath my desk, staring at my hands and it's uncomfortable.

"don't look at me like that."
inhale.
"like what?"
exhale.
"like you love me or something."
inhale. exhale. inhale.
"i do."
exhale.
silence.

i could write a book about you

/////

The blood that pumps through your veins is ice.

you can barely stand it yourself,
but your sunshine smile comes
and thaws your lungs.

sitting in the sunlight
eating plastic fruit
i guess this is youth
"i told you so." (your trademark line)

i'm so stubborn i have to laugh at myself.
you laugh too,
and your hands are warm.

Swallow

loudly.

awkward sounds and glances is all this is
i wish i had something to read.
stop looking at me, i'm new here.
i don't think i really like you, either.

but then some kid in the corner who's face i can't see is engrossed in his fingernails also, and i like him already
because he is not watching me, at least yet, and i guess from now on he'll be chronicled.

maybe all i'll want is you watching me...
say all i'll want five times fast.

you stare, but you smile.

9:47

I hate you.

you come back at me
over and over like
one of those horrid clown figures
up and up and up

I don't love you,
but something tells me if i did you would leave me alone.

I don't love you.
Someone tell me what i'm doing wrong